I feel like my body is falling apart.
Like there has to be something wrong with me besides low iron.
I was shopping with my mom and I got extremely dizzy.
I got home and took a pill for the dizziness.
It wasn't lightheadedness like I've been having.
It was full blown dizziness.
Like I could fall over any second.
My eyes were funky and I couldn't focus them on anything.
The room wasn't spinning, but it just wasn't right.
I even ate a snack before I took the pill because sometimes it makes me sedated or hyper.
Well a few minutes later I got killer nausea.
I tried to just forget about it, except it kept getting worse, until I was in the bathroom over the toilet.
I was coughing and gagging and I was spitting up some stuff.
The problem I have is I can never throw up.
Like unless I purge, which I don't want to at this point, I cannot throw up no matter how hard I cough or how many times I gag or how bad my nausea is.
It sounds weird, but it's so frustrating that I have an incredible level of nausea and I just have to push through it with no relief, no matter how strong the feeling is.
After I was in the bathroom for about a half hour feeling miserable with nausea I got terrible pain in my face and head from coughing so much.
I laid down and fell asleep because it exhausted me too.
When I woke up I ate dinner.
Then I started to get heartburn and acid reflux.
The extremely weird thing is that I have been taking antacids three times a day since last night.
I rarely get heartburn, and now I get it while on two different antacids?
Then I was extremely itchy.
I accidentally forgot to take my antihistamine today.
Like I honestly forgot.
This was the wrong day to forget it let me tell you.
I got incredibly itchy and uncomfortable.
On my chest and lower back I broke out in spots, which most defiantly weren't there this morning.
Then it settled down for the most part.
I was just sitting on the floor in my bedroom after that with my mom, looking at pictures for my bulletin boards in my room, and I got extremely dizzy.
Exactly like before.
I felt like I needed more medicine, but if I take more I will most likely be awake for a long time.
So I'm trying to push through the dizziness.
I'm laying down right now in my bed.
But I feel like I could throw up again.
I haven't had much pain today, so I guess the antacids at least helped that.
Otherwise, I have no clue why I feel so miserable.
It's like, I'm getting my random symptoms again.
They never figured out what they were before.
They just went away eventually.
I really am trying not to overreact, but I don't want to relapse with my physical symptoms.
I don't know if relapse is a good word.
I guess I should use the word backslide.
Before I've had times where I could barely eat.
Everything I ate would give me acid reflux symptoms and heartburn, no matter what it was.
I tried to cut out trigger foods, but that was just about everything.
I don't even remember much from that time period because I wasn't getting barely any nutrition.
I remember throwing up a lot too.
The heartburn would make me gag and then I would throw up.
Sometimes I would throw up blood.
The bizarre thing is, I got a feeding tube and in a few minutes threw up blood.
They said it was stomach irritation.
I told them it happened before, but it was just like 'oh okay, she's puking blood, whatever'.
I don't like relying on medication to make it through the day.
I know that I have to take my depression and anxiety medicine and all of that stuff because of chronic conditions, sure.
I don't like being doped up on pain medicine, nausea medicine, dizzy medicine, acid reflux medicine, etc.
I'm kind of getting worried at this point.
I try not to worry, but I've been here before, and I know where it leads.
I just want to be normal.
I mean I'm not restricting, purging, or anything like that at this point.
I was told by someone that it almost seems like my body is showing eating disorder symptoms without me acting on symptoms.
I guess that's kind of true, but it seems bizarre that there's no answer for this stuff.
Like, just take these pills to manage your symptoms.
I've had an endoscopy and colonoscopy come back normal.
I've had CT scans, MRI's, x-rays of my abdomen, millions of blood tests, urine tests, all that good stuff.
They find minor things from time to time, like my low iron, or low B-12, or borderline low potassium.
But I got my B-12 level up.
I take potassium supplements that are prescription.
And we just found out about the low iron, which means that's new.
I feel like I could throw up because a half hour ago I drank a sip of diet coke, caffeine free.
I don't know anymore.
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