I am so exhausted right now, like no words can explain it.
I'm simultaneously downloading music and writing on here when all I want to do is sleep.
I didn't get to post last night because I was at my grandparents house, so if I don't post tonight I will fall into the habit of not posting again,
I didn't get to have my Halloween party on Saturday because of being sick and in the emergency room and all.
So my grandparents let me have it at their house.
For that I am thankful, because I can't imagine a holiday, or Halloween for that matter, going by without me doing anything.
I love to celebrate things, like I try to have birthday parties for family members and myself, and we try to do things, at least something on holidays.
But needless to say, after all of that I am beyond exhausted.
Don't get me wrong, I had fun and I wouldn't change the time being with my family for anything, but I just don't feel so hot right now.
I'm getting the chills too, like I'm really cold and uncomfortable.
My stomach did a little better today, and by a little I mean just a little, and I don't want to jinx it.
I woke up, later than ever I think, and had to wait a half hour to eat anything because of my antacids and stomach medicine.
I was like starving, so I ate a bowl of Rice Krispies (which is basically one of my favorite foods now, or rather food that my stomach can handle), and I was still a little hungry.
I didn't want to push it, so I decided to eat some fruit.
But by the time I got to the bottom of the fruit cup, I was about to start gagging.
My lunch consisted of a decaf pumpkin spice late with skim milk, which made me incredibly bloated.
I wanted to be able to eat dinner, since we were having food for Halloween and my Grandpa's birthday.
I was like, oh my gosh, what do I eat, what can my stomach handle? because all of the food looked so good.
So I decided I would eat what I could, and that's what I did.
I didn't eat a lot by any means.
But I ate the equivalent of a small meal, which I was actually feeling good about for once.
I didn't need nausea medicine, just my regular medicine and an anxiety pill.
My grandma and grandpa made gingerbread for dessert, with whipped cream, because I love gingerbread and my mom used to make it for me every Halloween night.
It tasted so good, because it was like real food to me, but sad to say I couldn't even eat a whole piece.
I had to scrape the whipped cream off, and even the sprinkles I put on it.
I'm drinking some orange juice right now and I'm going to take my medicine in a few minutes.
I don't think I can stress enough how exhausted I am.
I don't know why I'm basically telling myself to stay awake.
I feel like I'm in this zone, where I'm freezing cold, and half awake and half asleep.
I'm probably getting delirious at this point, loose definition of the word, but still.
I just need sleep so bad.
But it gets me angry because I have been sleeping, a lot.
It feels so defeating.
Like what do I do at this point?
I feel like I need some guidance, or a schedule, or something.
Like I said, or maybe I didn't, I e-mailed my one doctor today.
I don't think he wrote back, but I will check as soon as I'm done writing this.
I'm going to call my GI doctor and my regular doctor tomorrow, and ask what the heck I should do.
I'm terribly confused.
On one hand I think that I need some extra help, of some sort, but I obviously don't want to go into the hospital or treatment or anything, because I mean what could they do for me anyway?
As my one doctor put it, I'm not dying, so there's no need to hospitalize me.
I'm just terribly, terribly, incredibly uncomfortable.
What is there to do?
Try new medication? Wait it all out? Deal with it?
Easier said than done.
I don't even know what to say or think at this point.
Time for bed.
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