So I saw my new doctor today, bright and early this morning.
I hate waking up early, not only because I like sleeping in, but because I physically do not feel rested if I get up early, no matter what time I go to bed.
I guess it's my chronic fatigue and insomnia.
But anyway, she is actually a really nice doctor, from what I can tell so far.
She just talks really fast.
I do miss my old doctor but I guess if I have to have someone else she will be a good choice.
Basically, my nausea and discomfort and not being hungry is because of my gastroparesis.
I guess I should kind of explain the whole concept of that, since it's kind of a long and strange word.
I never heard of it before in my life before I was diagnosed with it.
Basically, I had trouble eating like a long time ago.
I would have nausea, acid reflux, heartburn, and I would throw up a lot.
Those were the days where I would actually throw up.
I had a feeding tube because basically it was difficult to eat and I would throw up, and obviously lost weight.
I don't really remember much from that time.
In fact, I don't really remember much of anything because I'm in this like brain fog right now.
But anyway, when I got the feeding tube out, they decided to do a gastric emptying study or test or whatever.
They made me eat really nasty scrambled eggs with radioactive stuff in them.
Then they would scan my stomach every so often, like every half hour, to see what was going on with the eggs in my stomach.
My doctor called that same night and said that I have delayed gastric emptying, also known as gastroparesis, and that I need to take medication an hour before breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
It worked really well, and eventually I got off of the medication.
Recently I've been having a relapse of these symptoms, so I'm back on the medication, this time a half hour before lunch and dinner.
The whole breakfast thing didn't work, but I'm going to try it again since I take antacids at that time anyway.
Well what I'm trying to say is with gastroparesis, food basically sits in my stomach and makes me uncomfortable and can't pass through my stomach for awhile.
Hence my gastric emptying is delayed.
So now I'm on a low fat and low fiber diet to try to control my symptoms.
The doctor said it's like night and day for most people.
I really haven't had low fat stuff since I was into my eating disorder.
I have faith in myself that I won't relapse or anything.
It's just going to weird.
Like, I'm not anorexic (I know the medical charts say I am but I'm not acting on symptoms, so you see what I mean), and I'm not overweight or anything, but I'm eating low fat stuff?
I'm basically going from two percent milk to one percent, and regular yogurt to low fat yogurt, and peanut butter to low fat peanut butter, and whole grain cereal to regular low calorie cereal.
Most people would honestly yell at me for eating that kind of stuff while working past an eating disorder.
Trust me, it feels strange for me too.
I'm comfortable with the higher calorie foods now, and have finally convinced myself that they are totally fine to eat.
Now it goes back to moderation, and watching what I eat.
I'm totally not going to obsess.
Like I planned it out in my head what I'm going to try to do.
I'm going to buy these foods that are on the doctor's list.
When I want to eat something, I will just look like I always do and eat what I'm hungry for.
If I want milk though I will grab the one with lower fat, and if I want ice cream I will go for the lower fat kind, but if I want something else for dessert, that's not going to stop me from eating it.
I guess the key here is moderation.
I'm still doing my three meals and two snacks.
My paper the doctor gave me says I can drink Gatorade, diet soft drinks, tea, coffee, fruit juices, and water, which is basically all I drink anyway, so that sounds good to me.
I guess it really isn't that bad.
She did, however, take me off my my IBS medicine for right now.
I'm going to try going without it and just take it when I have pain, like spasm pain in my intestines or something, which I know what it feels like.
My appetite is still kind of funky, but it is improving.
I just get nauseous a lot still.
I get feelings like, oh my gosh, I'm going to throw up, I'm going to throw up, and my stomach gets so queasy, and I feel uncomfortable, but I have my nausea medicine, which like all of my other stomach pills, I have been told not to be hesitant to take.
I haven't been having fevers as recently either.
I still get the chills a lot, like right now, but it's manageable with a good sweatshirt and comfortable pants.
I have been having a lot of exhaustion, and like this brain fog type of thing.
I really cannot function in the morning, then at lunch I have food and caffeine and I'm fine, then I cannot function, then I eat dinner and I'm fine, and so it goes.
It's like my body is using up the calories so fast for energy, yet my weight is going slightly up, not down.
It's just weird, but I guess it's my chronic fatigue mixed with everything else, and starting and stopping stomach medicine could be contributing factors.
Basically I'm a little more comfortable, I'm managing, and I'm surviving.
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