I feel a sense of self right now, like, yes, she's finally doing something right.
Yesterday was Christmas, of course, and I had a wonderful day.
I spent the day with my immediate family, my mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, and great aunt.
We went to church, ate dinner (no anxiety!), opened presents, ate dessert (still no anxiety!) etc.
At night, I realized how much I terribly miss the majority of my friends.
That's what spurned me on to actually have a life, and reach out, and actually mean it this time.
I sent out a message to some of my friends from inpatient asking if I can send them cards and where I should send them to, all that good stuff.
Then today I went to Target and got thirty six blank cards to send to whoever writes back.
To me, it's like a big shock, like, some days I feel like I have nobody who cares about me, and now I have a list of twenty nine people in my life who do care, and who I can reach out to.
I started to write my cards tonight, and I'm going to finish them tomorrow.
It also feels so, so amazing to have plans for every day for the next two weeks almost.
Tomorrow we may be taking my poor guinea pig to the vet because we think she has another bladder infection.
We're going to see if the poor little pig is still peeing blood tomorrow morning and is in pain and judge from there, but I don't want to see her hurt or anything.
I'm thinking about also going to get my friend Veronica's present that I saw at Kohl's tomorrow either way.
Wednesday I have an appointment out of state, and I'm going out to lunch and the book store with my mom.
Thursday I'm going to the college book store with my mom to get my books for my courses and maybe even my other school supplies or something.
Friday I have plans with my friend Kayla (who I haven't seen since last February!) for lunch and then whatever we want to do.
Saturday I'm going to go to the mall with my mom and maybe my dad and boyfriend, then church at night, and my grandma's house for a New Year's Eve party.
That reminds me, I also want to go to Party City with my mom to get some things for New Year's Eve.
Sunday I'm going to church with my mom's family, and then to my other grandparent's house for New Year's Day.
Even though they're having yucky food, I will make the best of it hopefully.
Monday I'm going to lunch and then the movies or something with my friends Lindsey and Dana.
I haven't seen them for like forever, and I miss them each (and Kayla too!).
Tuesday I have an appointment with my psychiatrist, so my grandma and grandpa are going to take me to that.
Wednesday (or Friday) I'm trying to make plans with my friends Allie and Corinne.
Allie has to check her work schedule on Saturday and get back to me, and Corinne needs to get back to me too.
Thursday I finally see dermatology for the first time.
Friday I will either be chilling or going out with Allie or Corinne, or hopefully my boyfriend or something.
Saturday my mom and I are going to try to have my grandparents and my two great aunts over to our house for the holiday season.
Sunday I'm going to church, and then that begins another week.
I'm sorry for boring you with my schedule, but I'm just so excited to be doing something with myself for once.
I hate being constantly tied down by terrible fatigue, and the occasional depression and moodiness.
My goal is to not let this stuff stop me, at all, and to keep myself going at a reasonable pace, because soon enough after that I'm starting my freshman year in college, which I am actually excited about.
I didn't really have a very positive Christmas post the other night, so I also wanted to say Merry Christmas, I hope you have a blessed holiday, and thank you for following my blog!
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