Around forty eight hours ago, a little more now, I went to see my doctor for my physical for college. They couldn't find any of my immunization records, as I had transferred from another practice, so they told me that a nurse would call me to see if I needed any shots. In the mean time, they had to do a tuberculosis test because I had never had one and it is now required for my school. So they did the test where they do that thing to your arm. They told me that it might get a little red, but I should watch for more red and some swelling. Earlier today, it finally went away. Except now, maybe a few hours ago, it started to turn red, and continue to get more red. It's swelling a little bit, but I don't know how much the limit is on the swelling or whatever. I'm trying not to freak out, I'm really trying. But I am so scared that the test is positive, because they said that I had to wait forty eight hours, and bam, now here it is. If this were a normal situation, I wouldn't be freaked out. The thing is my dad had a false positive tuberculosis test when he was in his twenties. They did the chest x-ray and said it was neither positive nor negative, but he had to be on some kind of pill for a year anyway and he can never have another test like that again. The other thing is, there is an outbreak of tuberculosis, not in my town, but in my section of the state. So tomorrow, late morning, I have to enter the back door of my doctor's office, have a nurse look at my arm, and decide if I need a chest x-ray at the hospital or what. I also need another chicken pox vaccine, possibly a tetanus one too. They want me to have two others, but I'm signing the waver on them, because I don't think my body can handle all that. I'm not obsessing or anything, but my arm is now starting to swell a little bit where they injected the thing.
In other news, I woke up this morning, and my sleeping pills were all over the floor and my bed. I was like, what the heck? I already took my three sleeping pills before going to sleep. Well, the lid was off, and the bottle was spilled halfway. I couldn't tell if I actually took any or not, because there are so many pills in the bottle. If I did take the pills, I did it subconsciously. I did not even think about overdosing, for a long, long time. My dad had to wake me up too. You're probably thinking that I worry way too much, but this is crazy. Pills all over my bedroom basically? A red swollen spot on my arm that doctors are actually looking for? That's not normal or comforting by any means! My boyfriend is in extreme stomach pain, so he's asleep. I'm worried about him too, because he has work and school, and now whatever is wrong with him illness wise. Then there's my friend Ashley, who says she's extremely depressed and can't stop crying, but won't text me back. I really hope she's okay. My friend Veronica is in extreme pain and just had surgery today, so she's not doing well either. Why is it always how the innocent people get all this stuff thrown at them? My dad is also unemployed, and he struggles with a pretty severe case of depression and some anxiety. My grandma has the stomach flu and is pushing herself to carry on with her life, because she is so uncomfortable I would guess that she doesn't know what else to do. My heart honestly goes out to anyone struggling in any way right now, because I feel the discomfort, I feel the uncertainty of everything. Just pray that we can hang in there. Remember one of my favorite quotes: together we can make it through another day.
No comments:
Post a Comment