We Found Love

So, I'm talking to my boyfriend right now.
And I was just joking around, until we got on the topic of me getting a ring.
And he was actually serious about it.
I was like, in shock, because, I don't even know.
I mean I know if we're going to stay together he has to get me something like that eventually.
It's just like, wow, this is happening?
He says he already has everything planned out.
He's taking me out to dinner and then 'buying me something special' but we were actually talking rings, so I don't know where this is going to go.
And he said very very soon.
So I'm like, ecstatic, because he's like the best boyfriend.
Not just because of that of course, but in basically every way possible.
I honestly love spending every minute with him that I do, and he's so supportive of everything, and sweet, and cute, and nice, and I could go on but I think you get the picture.
I had therapy tonight, and she said that mood wise I'm doing really good too.
I don't know, it just feels like, I'm at a different place in life.
I just got rid of all of my eating disorder/sick clothes that were hanging in the back of my closet (along with many others that just didn't go with my attitude anymore).
I also got rid of tons of my childhood junk that I stored in my closet and don't really need, to make room for my new stuff.
I feel like with each day I'm growing stronger.
My stomach is getting better, my mood is good, and I know what I need to do to keep my body healthy.
I have a totally different color of hair now, and am taking pride in doing the total girl thing, putting on my make up, straightening my hair, picking out my clothes, actually picking up my bedroom, etc.
I feel like, even though half the time I'm in a daze, my personality is back to the 'good Jenna' one.
I feel strong, like I actually have power over things.
I can tell my eating disorder to back off, and that's somewhere I've never been.
I can tell my depression that 'things will get better' and my anxiety that 'things will be okay'.
I am able to reason with myself over stupid things that I come up with when I take my sleeping pills.
I don't like writing about how good I'm doing, honestly, because something always comes crashing down.
I'm just putting my faith in God and hoping that it doesn't happen this time.
Plus it's the holiday season, well almost, and I love this time of year.
I know I should probably be overwhelmed with with applying to college, and not knowing where my future is going, but I feel like now I am able to guide it better.
I found pictures of my old friends hiding in my closet, and was able to throw them in my 'get rid of' bin.
I have pictures of my mom and dad and my boyfriend hanging in my bedroom right now, along with my 'Keep Calm and Carry On' picture.
I'm working on adding new pictures too, and guess who they're going to be of?
My family and my true friends!
I'm excited to hopefully go to Panera for breakfast on Saturday with my best friends Ashley and Raymond and then hang out with my boyfriend and Ashley.
I'm also excited because tomorrow is Friday, which means the weekend.
I'm going to call my doctor and show him how there's a difference like night and day.
But it isn't the difference the stupid doctor promised with 'the perfect diet'.
There is no such thing as the freaking perfect diet.
But what I can do that makes a difference is focus on the positives, take my medication, eat according to my body, stay hydrated, and work on being comfortable in my skin.
Then maybe I could go to the store with my grandparents (we were thinking about it) to get some Christmas and holiday craft stuff.
Ah, I don't know, I'm in a good mood, which is usually a rare occurrence for me.
I'm usually in this, whatever attitude, but it feels good to feel better than normal for once.
I actually have things in my life that I never once dreamed of, but that make me happy, and that's what matters right now.